Parenting For Dummies

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So, the object of the game is discovering how to perfect your parenting and relationship skills. To do that you must understand three basic things: Making your punishment realistic also helps. For example, instead of saying "Do that one more time and I’ll ground you for a millennium, say, Do that one more time and you won’t get to have friends over for a week." Then follow through for a week and don’t allow friends to come over. If you tell your 6-year-old that you’ll take his ball away if he throws it again in the house, take his ball away the next time he throws it in the house. You may see this as manipulation, which wouldn’t be far from the truth. But, remember that children are masters of manipulation. Therefore staying on top of their manipulation is your job. Manipulating your children’s behavior, or behavior management, keeps your children happy, safe, and out of trouble by enabling you to be a part of their daily activities, attitudes, and environment. Stop before you react to anything and take a deep breath. Deep breathing (or maybe it’s just stopping and letting your brain work for a minute) helps you realize that whatever you’re looking at isn’t really that awful. You may even get so mad that you have to excuse yourself and tell your children that you’re upset and you’ll have to discuss the situation later when you’ve had time to cool down. Make sure you resolve the situation that day. If you let too much time go by, your kids will have forgotten the whole thing.

Being consistent and following through are sort of like cousins marrying; the two concepts are related in a weird kind of way. If you’re not consistent, and you don’t practice follow-through, you’ll have problems with your kids. Do what you say, and think before you say it (the art of follow-through)Whether your kids attend public schools or are schooled in your home, you’ll need to help them with their homework and other educational needs. Take the time to explain how things work, and let your children help you cook and clean, grow some flowers. This is all part of education. WordsOfWisdom A thousand or more examples of when you need to be consistent exist. Bedtimes need to be consistent, and so do meal times, homework times, rules about behavior, rules about how your household is set up (what furniture is okay to abuse and what isn’t), and the list goes on. Speaking to a young child is easy. He reaches for an apple, you say, No. He starts to touch the apple again, and you say, No. This activity may go on until you figure out that what you need to do is move him away from the apples. In fact, it’s your fault that you put him near the apples, because it’s in his nature to want to play with the apples. A bad role model doesn’t necessarily mean being a bad person. Bad role models typically are workaholics, alcoholics, drug users, or people who put material things ahead of their families — the oblivious parent type. Remember

You also can be a role model in a way that you don’t even realize that you’re being one. How you handle stress, how you communicate, how you reassure your children are important aspects of being a positive role model. Step into action. Begin the work. Each step should be strategic to move you forward and closer to achieving your ultimate goal. The basic rules of communication are that you be specific about what you want and that you don’t babble when you say it. Being consistent sounds easy, like one of the easiest rules of The Parenting Game. But your kids have one up on you. They’re cute; they cry; they beg; tiny arms reach up; tear-filled eyes beg for mercy; and boo-boo lips protrude. But don’t give in. Be strong. Be consistent. Your kids really want that from you. They need it. They want to know the guidelines and they want you to be consistent about enforcing them. You need an effective way to express your ideas, wants, and desires to your kids. That’s communication. Speak clearly, precisely, and without a lot of babbling. But taking the time to listen also is important. In any relationship — even with your hair stylist — if you don’t, won’t, or can’t communicate effectively, you’re doomed. Doomed! Doomed! Doomed!

A scholar is of all persons the most unfit to teach young children. A mother is the infant’s true guide to knowledge. — Edward Bulwer-Lytton The good listener Don’t say, Do that one more time and you’ll regret it. It sounds nice because it gives you an out; you’re not bound to do anything linked to that threat. But it’s better if you say instead, If you choose to do that one more time, then I’m not allowing AJ to spend the night tonight. Then if the child chooses to do the dastardly deed one more time, your follow-through is to say, You chose to do (whatever). Because you made that choice, AJ doesn’t get to spend the night. Then follow through by not allowing AJ to spend the night.

Five basic skills are involved in The Parenting Game. When you master these skills, you should be able to handle most situations that arise. The five basic skills are Some people say that the parenting game never ends. After all, it would be nice to have an answer to the question, At what age will my children be completely independent? Alas, the answer is, Never. WordsOfWisdom Hover. Toddlers and some preschoolers are more mobile and independent than infants. You can no longer hold onto them and meet all their needs. But their newfound mobility and independence can also be their undoing. They are vulnerable to all sorts of hazards, from falling and hitting their head to walking blindly through a busy parking lot. They need you to hover and to intervene when their small adventures put them in harm’s way. How do you get to the point where crying babies, poopy diapers that have overflowed onto your nice white Battenburg bedspread, being late, and a toddler who seems to be dragging his feet don’t bother you any more? These are the realities of kids, so how do you work with their reality so they don’t drive you crazy? Patience means:Teaching your child how to be his own person requires you to understand what that means. So, you must enable your child to be his own person, have his own ideas, recognize and respect the fact that your and his ideas can be different. Yes, a child can have his own ideas about life. Although those ideas may differ from what you think or what you know to be true, they nevertheless are still his ideas. I must point out, in all fairness, that just because you get to the point and are specific about your requests, children don’t always listen. They have their own wants and desires, too, and they may not be the same as yours. Whether you’re child is a newborn, a teen, or somewhere in-between, Parenting For Dummies gives you the scoop on parenting basics. From dealing with a crying baby and potty training, to building self-esteem and talking with them about sex, it offers a gold mine of up-to-date advice and guidance on how to: Kids aren’t born politically correct. So, if you have any tendencies toward political correctness, now is the time to face reality and get over them. Kids call poop what it is. They’re more than happy to explain it to you — repeatedly in great detail. The same is true of throw-up, barf, heave, and spit up. All are real things about which your kids are more than happy and willing to share their unique knowledge. How can parents befriend their children and still function as parents? This question is a tough one to answer and a difficult issue to approach. You want to be friends with your children, spending time together, doing things together, paying attention to each other, and helping them to grow up to be healthy, strong, independent people. But you don’t want to cross the line and forget about being a parent.

Having a baby is an incredible experience, and the ultimate responsibility! Parenting is a job that you start with no training at all – and friends and family always seem to be the first to tell you how best to bring up your children. But there's no sure-fire formula for raising kids. Maybe that's because every child, like every parent, is an individual, and no two parent-child relationships are ever the same. So, you can give up any notions of being a perfect parent. But, you can learn to keep the big mistakes to a minimum and make the parenting experience easier and more rewarding for your children and yourself. Which is where this book comes in. Experts Sandy and Dan Gookin—she’s the parenting expert for Parents Magazine and Working Mother Magazine and he’s a father of four—avoid the psychological hype and medical terminology and give you the straight poop on all aspects of child-rearing, including: My house doesn’t have to be picture-perfect (or spotless) to ensure that my baby has a wonderful childhood. If you’re calm, relaxed, and don’t overreact to broken dishes and other such events, your children are likely to be calm and relaxed. On the other hand, if you’re nervous and tense, your children are likely to be nervous and tense.Toddler: Between the ages of 2 and 4, children are still getting used to the idea of being on two points of balance and not four. Short hikes between half a mile and 2 miles are ideal as long as the terrain is flat and secure to walk on. Take regular walks in a neighborhood park to get a feel for your child's attention span. Expect a focused attention span of around 10 minutes for younger children and up to 30 minutes for older children. That’s quite a bit to ask for, isn’t it? But remember that the rewards are great. You’ll raise a child who grows up to be someone others want to be friends with. They’ll contribute to their communities and generally be all-around great people. And that’s a great gift to society. The ever-present teacher