Fierce Conversations: Achieving success in work and in life, one conversation at a time

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An example of what to say if you have a secret concern..”It’s not that easy. I’m worryied that you’ll be put off by what I want to ask you, so I want you to know that I’m prepared to be dead wrong about this” Scott does a great job of cutting through the noise of fancy programs and the next hot thing that often takes hold of organizations and really centers her book on how our conversations with ourselves, our family, and our colleagues can create organizational change and freedom if we have the courage to delve into reality. Some of her examples aren't great and she quotes from a variety of fiction works, most of which I haven't read. More and more focused examples would have been helpful.

The simplest definition is one in which we "come out from behind ourselves, into the conversation, and make it real" in other words, one where we reveal our real thoughts and focus on what really matters.While many fear such real conversations, it is the unreal conversations that ought to concern us because they are incredibly costly, both in time wasted and the opportunities for change that are thrown away. Instead, try and reframe the conversation as an opportunity to explore the problem with the individual concerned and to discover ways to solve that problem together. By treating it as a learning exercise (for both parties) it will be a much calmer, more positive and constructive experience. The ideas and action items provided in this book were thought-provoking and helpful; however, I felt most of the examples were tailored to readers in management roles at companies. I just couldn't relate to those ideas (hence the 4 instead of 5 star rating). Don’t accept these excuses at face value. Continue to drill down. Be brave enough to say “I think those are excuses.”Be prepared for how they might de Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Wake – Regardless of our wake being positive or negative, our wakes are larger than we realize them to be. Our emotional wake is the aftermath of what we’ve said during or after the conversation and how it’s affected the other person we are having a conversation with.

In confrontation, the first sixty seconds are key. If you don’t prepare your opening statement, but instead dive in and hope it will work out, here are five commone mistakes: Ground truth-military term. Refers to what’s actually happening on the ground vs the official tactics

Success!

Susan concludes this topic by discussing what she learned at an early age and called, The Decision Tree. The decision tree in my eyes was more like a map of delegation and consisted of four categories, which are: Leaf Decisions, Branch Decisions, Trunk Decisions and Root Decisions. The goals of the decision tree are: to identify clearly which categories decisions and actions fall into, to provide employees with a clear upward path of professional development, and to assist companies in consciously developing grassroots leadership within their organizations, freeing up executives to take on more challenging responsibilities themselves. It’s not our thoughts or feelings that get us into trouble…It’s our attachment to them, our belief that we are right.”

When not at work, Corey can be found at her Alma Mater, University of North Texas, serving on the Letter Winner’s Board or coaching select elite high school basketball teams in various tournaments around North Texas. Her favorite quote and life moto: “If it is to be, it is up to me.” Corey holds an undergraduate degree from the University of North Texas, and a MBA for LeTourneau University. That’s why, so often, people avoid having them at all. They get someone else to do it. Or they move the offending employee into another team or department to become someone else’s problem.

One major aspect though is the author does assume an educated audience who are confident and mentally healthy. She doesn't really cover the problems of low self esteem or mental instability as factors in conversation.